


Admiration

by Rustclaw



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Coercion, M/M, Non-graphic mentions of canon typical violence and death, Tarn’s problematic views on how to properly begin a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rustclaw/pseuds/Rustclaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the past Tarn would have considered a Decepticon having a crush on an Autobot high treason. That is until he realized he had a crush on an Autobot. Talk about awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Admiration

**Author's Note:**

> I’m just going to apologize now if anything is ooc. This is my first time writing Tarn and he’s a bit challenging. Also, not really the best writer here, but I tried. Everyone's gotta start somewhere right?

Tarn had not considered Pharma anything special the first time they’d met. Perhaps something nice to look at, there was no denying the jet was easy on the optics, but in the end still just another Autobot to be used and manipulated as he saw fit. This would not be the first time the DJD had forced a mech from the opposite side or even non-combatants to answer to their whims and it would likely not be the last either. One mustn't spurn opportunity after all. 

Some of them had tried to put on a brave face sure, but eventually they had all showed their true colors. They were cowards. Eventually bowing to his every command without nary a question or any sort of reluctance before long. Not if they wanted to continue living or their loved ones to remain unharmed. He had destroyed them all once he’d finished with them regardless. It was nasty business, but undoubtedly part of the job and he felt no guilt over their ‘untimely’ deaths. They had outlived their use. 

Pharma was different. 

If the medic had any real fear of Tarn and his cohorts he hid it well. Wings were always held up high with confidence and he was never afraid to speak his mind. Sometimes the Autobot would even risk mocking him or respond to an order with some subtle, but biting comment. It was offensive at first, but Tarn had come to find amusement in Pharma’s boldness. 

He could beat the mech into the ground for his brazen attitude and Tarn was still sure he would have something infuriatingly clever to say. He never yielded easily and even when he did Pharma always found a way to get up again and walk away with some semblance of pride left. As disrespectful as he could be Tarn couldn’t help, but admire such traits. Even if displayed by an enemy.

In the early days of their business partnership Tarn had been tempted many times to just end the jet due his impudent nature and sharp glossa. However, he really was far too useful. A good find originally brought to his attention by Kaon when the communications officer had noted Ambulon’s presence at the medical facility known as Delphi. How lucky had they been to have a traitor practically walk into their hands right here on their base planet? 

Still, the current deal meant the deserter was off limits. He considered it an acceptable loss for the time being. Rumors of the doctor’s prestige apparently hadn’t been unfounded. Even a mech like himself who had no interest in or knowledge of the medical field could see Pharma was brilliant. His skills certainly came in handy just as much as his access to the much desired t-cogs Tarn had arranged for him to collect on his behalf. 

The longer the deal stayed intact the more Tarn looked forward to Pharma’s visits. 'It is merely a minor feeling of admiration. It will pass with time as all things do,' he had told himself as an excuse for his mounting anticipation. 

In the past, before he had been assigned leader of the DJD, Tarn had known of Decepticons who held secret affections for Autobots. He was shocked to find that many within high command, Megatron included, hadn’t seemed to care. As long as these Cons knew their place and did not waver from the cause what they did with their Autobot playthings didn’t seem to concern his noble leader. Only Starscream of all mechs had seemed just as disgruntled with the acceptance of such disloyalty. 

Tarn had overheard that the Autobots had far more strict rules on the matter. Rules that were punishable if broken. It was perhaps the one thing he could agree with the self-righteous group about. One should not seek any sort of personal relationship with anyone outside their own faction. A loyal Decepticon would never even entertain the thought. 

'Admiration of an enemy militant's skill and courage is not completely inappropriate. So long as it does not go past simple admiration,' Tarn assured himself. 

There really wasn’t much about Pharma he didn’t admire. There was just something so very thrilling about the medic’s attitude. That he would dare to speak to him in the ways he did or boss him around as if he had the right. He was also elegant and refined, much like Tarn himself. Attractive, brave, and astonishingly talented. A bit prudish and old-fashioned in some ways, but Tarn had no affection for anyone who gave themselves away too easily. That, after all, wasn’t a proper way for any decent mech to behave. 

Under different circumstances Tarn likely would have been less reluctant to peruse something more than business. If only Pharma had been a Decepticon…

His thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on his office door. After granting permission to enter Kaon appeared looking quite perturbed. “The Autobot is here,” he hissed. 

"Tell him I’ll be with him in a moment. You appear agitated. Is he being mouthy today?" Tarn asked idly. 

A spark of electricity from the coils on Kaon’s back that quickly petered out was his answer before the blind mech showed himself out and Tarn tapped his fingers against the top of his desk thoughtfully. He’d never known any mech who could get Kaon as fired up as Pharma could. He really should be more disapproving for poor Kaon’s sake, but it had led to some rather entertaining incidents in the past. It was better to let the two of them work it out between themselves he’d decided. So long as Kaon didn’t turn to violence. 

—-

"There are only five t-cogs in this bag," Tarn observed, reaching in and pulling one of said t-cogs out to examine more closely. It was damaged. He frowned beneath his mask. 

"I’m well aware of that," Pharma responded dryly. Though he kept his EM field close to his frame in an attempt to shield his emotions he looked nervous for once. Good. He should be.

"I asked for thirteen," Tarn reminded him, a hint of disapproval in his tone. 

Pharma’s wings twitched ever so slightly and Tarn could tell he was doing his best to keep his temper in check. “I’ve already told you thirteen is too many in such a short amount of time. This is supposed to be a secret, remember? I did my best.” 

"If this is your best I’d hate to see what your worst is then." Tarn dropped the t-cog back into the bag and set it down atop the desk. Kaon, standing by the office door as an observer, looked exceptionally pleased with this turn of events despite Tarn’s displeasure at his quota not being met. He was likely expecting him to punish Pharma for his failure to keep up to his end of the bargain, and if Tarn was being completely honest it had crossed his mind. 

Yet it was not often Pharma faltered in his duties. Maybe it really had just been a particularly tough deca-cycle rather than a lack of trying. Perhaps, just this once, he could let it slide. Pharma might even be grateful to be pardoned. In the end the jet thanking him was a more pleasant thought than punishing him.

"I am not happy with this outcome Pharma. You usually do so well and I’ve come to expect much better from you.” Tarn paused for a moment to let the words sink in. Pharma fidgeted in his seat apprehensively. “Due your usually impeccable track record, I’m willing to forgive such an offense just this once, but do not ever let it happen again.” He was tempted to let his special talent leak into his voice as an added threat for good measure, but as he watched the jet shiver in anticipation of pain he decided the verbal warning had served it’s purpose well enough. “Am I understood?”

Pharma regained some composure and sat up straight, meeting Tarn’s gaze unflinchingly. “Perfectly.” 

—-

Tarn looked over Pharma’s poor offerings once more after the jet had left, rolling the damaged t-cog around his desk sullenly. He caught sight of Helex smiling at him out of the corner of his optic and turned to him in slight annoyance. “Is there something I can help you with?” 

"You like him," the other mech replied mildly. 

"I have absolutely no idea who you could be referring to," Tarn muttered before turning his attention back to the t-cog. The damned thing was near useless. Had Pharma really been so desperate he’d thought bringing it would have made a difference?

"You never would have let him get away with that if you didn’t. No one stands between you and your precious t-cogs. Usually anyway," Helex teased. 

Tarn shifted in unease, but he had to agree that Helex was right. He avoided looking at him. How had he let this happen? This was the sort of thing he’d have personally had mechs hanged, drawn and quartered for if he’d been allowed. 

"It’s alright you know," Helex piped up after an awkwardly long amount of silence had passed.

Tarn glanced back up in surprise. “…It is?”

"Sure, why not?" Helex asked with a shrug. "You work hard, and you allow all of us our own little indulgences. If any mech doubts your loyalty then they ain’t right in the processor. Besides, if we have to watch you pining after Pharma for much longer we’re going to ask him out for you."

"You most certainly will not and…wait, we? This was a group decision?”

"Pretty much."

"It's that obvious?"

"Pretty much." 

—-

By the next time the Autobot arrived to deliver his t-cogs Tarn had made a decision. Helex had a point. There was no use trying to ignore these feelings any longer if everyone already knew. He was the most loyal Decepticon the universe had to offer. Surely having an Autobot companion would never change his own views, but perhaps Pharma might rethink his own alliance with enough time. Now wouldn’t that be delightful? 

"You’re early," Tarn commented pleasantly once Pharma entered his office.

He was given a somewhat wary glance in response before a rather full looking bag of t-cogs was dropped in front of him. “I wanted to get this done with. I have a surgery scheduled for the evening.” 

"Let’s take a look then," Tarn replied before reaching into the bag. Thirteen t-cogs, all in good condition this time. "Well done Pharma! See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it." 

The medic scowled. “Uh-huh. Can I go now?”

"Not yet. I have…a bit of a proposition for you."

Pharma glared at him suspiciously. “What kind of proposition?” . 

"Is your surgery terribly important?" Tarn asked dully, getting up and rounding his desk so he was standing beside the much smaller mech in an instance.

Pharma took an instinctive step back. ”Yes,” was the flat reply. 

"Well, that’s quite a shame then. As previously stated I have something I’d like to discuss with you and it may take some time. Perhaps you should comm your associates and let them know you won’t be back for awhile. Now come, sit down and make yourself comfortable," he said while motioning toward the nearby couch.

Pharma looked as if he was considering arguing, but after a moment seemed to think better of it and moved to sit. “Try and make this quick. I really just can’t miss that surgery,” he grunted as Tarn took a seat next to him. 

"Oh Pharma, am I really that bad that you can’t even stand to spend a few extra minutes in my presence?" Tarn asked in mock hurt.

"No. Of course not. You’re the nicest homicidal zealot I know," Pharma muttered sarcastically. 

"I would imagine so. Though have you really met many?" Tarn asked in amusement.

"You’d be surprised. Now what do you want?" 

"Nothing too important," Tarn started causally, inching closer. Pharma’s optics narrowed, but he seemed mildly curious at least. "I was thinking about adding a new condition to the deal."

Pharma’s mouth fell open slightly in shock. “What?”

"It’s nothing too serious I can assure you. Nothing you can’t handle," Tarn soothed, reaching out to touch him. His fingertips had barely grazed one of his shoulder vents when Pharma’s patience finally gave out.

"Don’t touch me!" He snapped, shoving his hand away and baring his dental plates in a vicious snarl. "I’m not a beast! You can’t just set your filthy hands on me whenever you please and stroke me like a pet!" 

Tarn observed the enraged Autobot coolly. ”You are always so angry Pharma. I wonder why that is? Has this cold, Primus-forsaken planet sucked all of the happiness out of you or has your life always been so rough?” 

"None of your damn business! If I’m angry you only have yourself to blame," he hissed icily. "I already have so much expected of me without adding your demands to the list!" 

"Ah, so the good doctor has the weight of the world on his shoulders," Tarn cooed, leaning in closer and laying a hand on a slender leg. "Perhaps I can help ease some of that burden." 

The jet tensed again under his touch, but didn’t attempt to move away this time. “Doubtful. You’re the cause of most of it,” he growled, seemingly forcing himself to calm down. Likely before he said something that he might regret later. 

Tarn supposed he couldn’t argue with that. “You have expressed before that the number of t-cogs I require of you every deca-cycle is…too many. I may be willing to lower my expectations for quantity as long as you make sure each and every one is of excellent quality. I don’t want to see any more damaged goods.”

This had certainly caught Pharma’s attention just as planned. Wings perked up with interest, but the expression on his face was still a suspicious one. “That sounds lovely, but what’s the catch?”

"Why must there be a catch? Can’t you just accept I'm being kind to you? After all, I’ve become rather fond of you Pharma. I dare say you’re one of the best business partners I’ve ever had."

"What’s the catch?" Pharma repeated, unimpressed. 

Tarn sighed. “I will cut your usual t-cog quota in half, but in return you must answer to my every beck and call, no questions asked, and you will stay with me for as long as I desire without complaint.” 

He watched Pharma carefully for a reaction, but the Autobot just continued to stare at him in disbelief. Tarn took a page from Pharma’s book and kept his EM field close to his frame so the medic wouldn’t be able to tell how anxious he was beginning to feel the longer he stayed silent. Finally Pharma's mouth curved into a sneer. “Why would I ever want to do that?” He asked before boldly swatting the larger mech’s hand off his knee. “I’m not that desperate.”

"So you would rather continue to struggle with your current quota?" Tarn asked, optics flaring hotly behind his mask. Pharma rightfully started to back away and Tarn had to remind himself to reign in his distress at being rejected so easily. "I am giving you an easier way to get things done. Do you really think it wise to refuse such an offer?" He added more calmly. 

Pharma paused for a moment, but still looked equally displeased with the idea by the time he responded. “You haven’t given me an easier time. You’ve just shoved me between a rock and a hard place. What are my choices really? Try to make ends meet with your impossible standards or have less t-cogs to worry about, but have to juggle my time so I can still convincingly be in charge of my own damn medical facility while also being your slave. Wow, I just don’t know which to pick.”

"You have misunderstood me," Tarn replied irritably. Honestly, why must Pharma be so difficult about everything? “I do not want you to be a slave.”

"What do you want from me then!?”

Ah yes, that was the question wasn’t it? 

"I simply…want to spend more time with you. Get to know you better. You’re an intelligent mech Pharma. I’m sure we have a few hobbies in common, and if not we could make some." 

For a long while the Autobot was quiet again, his expression completely unreadable. Tarn gazed back at Pharma evenly, intent on giving nothing away himself, but when the jet’s sneer turned into a smug smile he wasn’t quite sure what to think.

"You want to spend time with me personally. Really?" He asked in a coquettish tone. "And why is that exactly?"

Tarn's optics narrowed. Why the sudden change in attitude? “As much as I appreciate the companionship and loyalty of my cohorts we do not have very much in common. Other than our occupation of course. I feel…we could be good company for one another. You often complain about your own employees. Some time away from them, however brief, may do you some good.” 

"Is that all?" Pharma needled.

Tarn sighed deeply. He might as well get on with it. “I find you…intriguing. You are not like other Autobots I’ve met. I feel this relationship could be something far more than business if given the chance to grow.” 

Pharma looked thoughtful, that haughty grin never leaving his face. 

"Ask me," Pharma finally spoke, his tone light and far more relaxed than Tarn had ever heard it before.

"I am not sure I understand…"

"Ask me to spend more time with you," Pharma responded.

"Is that not what I just did?" Tarn asked dryly.

"No. You ordered me," Pharma corrected. "You said I had two choices. Either continue on with my current quota or spend more time with you. Neither of which is a particularly favorable outcome for me. So ask me."

"If spending time in my company is considered unfavorable will your answer not still be no?" Tarn asked. He could certainly feel the beginnings of a processor ache on it’s way. 

"Not necessarily. As you very well know I do not enjoy being ordered around. Especially not by wretches like you," Pharma explained, getting back to his feet and walking around Tarn’s other side to lean against the edge of his desk. "It’s an unfavorable outcome because it’s coercion. I know that’s kind of what you people do around here, but it’s hardly the way to begin any sort of more meaningful relationship. Wouldn’t you agree?" 

Tarn stared at the medic cautiously, but even he had to agree Pharma had a point. “So…ask you then?”

The medic nodded simply and Tarn had to stop and wonder if it would really be that easy. Perhaps he had gone about this all the wrong way after all. He had always wanted Pharma to accept him of his own free will, but thought that would be impossible without getting to know him better first. 

"Pharma," he started formally, trying to keep his voice smooth and free of anything that might suggest how fast his spark was pulsing. "Would you be willing to make time for me in your understandably busy schedule. Time that would have noting to due with our current deal, but more so companionship?" 

"That depends. Do I have a choice?" 

Tarn eyed him in slight irritation. If Pharma was just toying with him…

"Yes, you have a choice. You are more than welcome to decline if this offer makes you feel uneasy," he finally managed. If Pharma did refuse he’d have no choice but to accept it at this point. He was not a mech that went back on his word. 

"Alrighty then. No thanks."

Despite the mask the emotion in his optics must have given away his shock at the medic’s audacity because Pharma was currently cackling like a mad mech. ”The look on your face is just priceless! Relax, I’m only kidding.” 

"I do not find anything humorous about our situation Pharma," Tarn growled coldly.

"You know Tarn, I really don’t ask for much. You could allow me some petty amusements every now and then ," the jet sniped. 

"If that was just you ‘kidding around’, as you put it, what is your true answer then?" Tarn asked, beginning to feel impatient. 

"I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad. However, if I agree to this I will have conditions," Pharma started, lifting himself to sit fully on the desk and crossing his legs, hands folding over his lap.

"Very well. If they are reasonable I’m sure we can agree on something." Tarn conceded, feeling a fizz of excitement in his spark he rarely felt outside of work. 

"I will come when I feel like it and when I have the time, which may not necessarily align with when you want me to be here. You need to remember I am a doctor and have a very important job to do. Especially if you want me to have the opportunity to collect t-cogs for you.”

Tarn reluctantly nodded. “Yes, I suppose that is very important.”

"It is. Next, I have the right to reject any or all activities that are not to my taste or make me feel…uncomfortable," he gave Tarn an especially challenging look at that one, but the tank didn’t rise to the bait.

"Very well. Is that all then?" 

"For now."

"So you agree?" Tarn inwardly flinched at how eager he sounded. This was really no way for a powerful, feared Decepticon symbol of death and punishment to behave. 

"I suppose," Pharma confirmed. 

"Hm, in that case I think it will help if we perhaps set up appointments just as we do with your t-cog deliveries. That way I will know around when to expect you." 

"Fine, fine," Pharma agreed with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Just remember there may be times I have to take a rain check, and I have just one more thing I’d like to discuss." 

"What’s that?" Tarn asked, already reaching for the datapad he used to keep track of appointments. He couldn’t say he completely understood this strange turn of events. Perhaps Pharma truly was interested in him as well and merely wanted to be in control of the circumstances. Tarn supposed he could allow him that just this once. The night had gone so much better than he’d been hoping for after all. He really hadn’t expected being able to gain not only Pharma’s promised company (and of his own free will at that), but still keep his t-cog quota the same as well. What a lucky break. 

"About the number of t-cogs I’m expected to deliver. Now that I think about it, it will be a lot more difficult to collect so many when I’m going to be spending considerable amounts of my free time with you. Since we’ve got everything else all figured out so nicely lets get back to that conversation.”

Or perhaps not…


End file.
